Insight about why being at the ranch is part of my trip in Canada, how it affects me and the people who care for me too. Why making my own decisions and reaching my goals are my first priority in anything I do.
My name is Celina, I’m a 26 years old citizen of the world and born in France. I started traveling when I was 16 as an exchange student, all by myself on the other side of the country I knew at this time. And people wouldn’t understand why I would compromise my promised sport career to do it, risking everything I had. Thankfully I had an open minded family who didn’t listen to my teachers and coaches when they were saying all day long that I was doing the biggest mistake of my young life. I stand for myself and I still do it today. And people still don’t understand why I’m not physically settled in one country and why I keep doing what I do. So today I will put on paper the reasons why I love my life as it is and maybe it would help people I care for to understand me better because it hurts not to be understood, and the more I grow the harder it gets. Also because it would give a great insight to anyone curious to know what it is like to live in the Chilcotin Holidays ranch and I’m sure some of you would agree with some of it. So let’s talk about it and see where it leads us.
To tell a long story short I have kept moving since I’m 16. It doesn’t necessarily mean out of France, but I haven’t been in one place for more than 2 months for example since May last year. To my close friends and family it may be seen like I’m leaving all the time, I’m never there for birthdays, wedding anniversary or to go out and have a drink. But what I feel when I’m out there chasing my purposes and goals in life is so personal, that I know I’m doing the right thing, because I chose to put myself into those life situations. And the fact is very simple : I’m happy to wake up every morning and to go to bed with all those achievements in my mind. Not because I don’t want to be with them, I “just” want to be me.
That’s the reason why the ranch fits so well in my life right now. I could randomly describe to you how I drove a car and a tractor on my own while I don’t have any driving license. I could go on like this for quite a while and that’s what my relatives want to know too. But it goes so much deeper than that, it’s not just any activity, it’s why you are here doing that and what values it gives you to get wherever you want to go. Opportunities are not given but taken. And I believe there are endless possibilities as opportunities, we are only stopped by our own mind. Once you start thinking out of the box, seeing and experiencing the same old things but differently, that’s when our mind grows and everything else with it. This is what I feel when I travel and when I live in the ranch, I’m growing. My body gets tougher with the physical work as much as my mind keep expanding with the 100 new activities I do. Yes you need to know how to make a fire and feed yourself when you live out in the wild. That’s where all the activities I could ticked on my “to do list before I die” seems to be very little compared to the big picture. There are not only things I’ve done, there are things I’ve learned from, things I need everyday or things I question myself at night. And all this put together makes me feel alive, aware of who I am and what I’m capable of achieving.
So maybe now you understand why sharing my amazing adventures on my trips, it’s incredibly tough. I can’t just say I’ve run a chainsaw on my own without talking about the safety procedures that comes with it. You see now how everything is linked? And how I need to explain the whole picture if I want anyone to understand “What I am doing”? To do that you need to be clear in your own mind and save some energy, patience and you also need somebody ready to listen to you in the other end, it’s not just a phone call to gossip around. It’s probably why when I have a match up conversation with my relatives, hanging up is so hard and tears show up. Living what I get to do everyday and sharing it with someone I care a lot is wonderful and makes me wonder if my happiness will ever be complete, because after all : “Happiness only real when shared” – Into the wild